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00:00:01,936 --> 00:00:03,068
[instrumental music]
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00:00:04,739 --> 00:00:07,406
Kate.. Kate, I got home
as fast as I could.
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00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:09,908
- What's the emergency?
- What?
4
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,477
Well, I had this message
at the office.
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00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,545
It told me to get home
as fast as I could.
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00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,581
Why, I didn't
leave any message.
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00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:20,252
- You?
- I didn't say, "Rush home."
8
00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:24,256
I told them to ask you to,
"Get home as soon as possible."
9
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:28,060
- You said it was an emergency.
- Yeah! The TV set is broken.
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00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:33,399
- What?
- It's got audio, but no video.
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00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,934
My guess is,
the picture tube is shot.
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You got me into a panic
to tell me that?
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00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:44,009
Sorry, but I began to panic
when I missed "Gumby."
14
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,814
Well, you're gonna miss a lot
more than "Gumby," buster
15
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,884
because that TV set
stays broken.
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00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:56,188
What? Willie, I'm a shut-in.
TV is my lifeline.
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00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:59,124
I just pulled the plug on it.
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Apparently, it was
a mistake to call you.
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I think we watch too much TV
in this house, anyway.
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I mean this will be a good
chance to talk, to read
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00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:09,835
to catch up on some chores..
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00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:13,472
Super. Welcome to
"Little House on the Prairie."
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[theme music]
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00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:33,125
[music continues]
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00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,949
[music continues]
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[instrumental music]
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ALF, don't you have something
else to do besides stare at me?
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No.
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Fine.
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Why do you wash dishes before
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putting them
into the dishwasher?
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I'm not washing them,
I'm rinsing them.
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Doesn't the machine
have a rinse cycle?
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00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:52,171
[sighs]
Yes, it's after the wash cycle.
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You wanna run
that by me again?
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I guess, we're all a little
testy without the TV.
37
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:08,554
Yo, Lynn! Need some help
with the homework?
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Thanks, but it's
American history.
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00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:13,025
- Pre-Civil War?
- Yep.
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Not my area.
41
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,095
[humming]
42
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,832
Catching up on
your reading, I see.
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Yes, isn't it refreshing,
having no TV?
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Yeah, invigorating.
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I assume you have no plans
to get it repaired?
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No immediate plans.
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Fine. I'll leave it
tuned to "Oral Roberts".
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00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,847
Maybe it'll heal itself.
49
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:39,885
Dad, I need some help.
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I have to make a project
for the science carnival.
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Is that anything
like a science fair?
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00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,892
Yeah, only this has clowns.
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00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,360
Well, what's the problem, Brian?
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- I don't know what to make.
- No problem.
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00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,466
On Melmac, I was known
as Mr. Science.
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00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:58,670
Oh, why can't Mr. Science
fix his own spaceship, then?
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00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:02,708
Because Mr. Science
isn't good with tools.
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00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:05,611
That's why I dropped
out of dental school.
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00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,079
You went to dental school?
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00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:10,449
Yeah, it was the easiest thing
I could think of.
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We only have four teeth.
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What can we make, ALF?
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00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:19,625
Well, an electric
sandwich caddy.
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00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:24,296
A machine that brings you
your sandwich?
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00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:28,100
No, a sandwich that hands
you your golf clubs.
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00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,637
Oh, that's a much better idea.
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00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,272
Better than a rain gauge.
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00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:35,407
How do you know about
the rain gauge? Lynn?
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I'm sorry, dad.
he found it in my closet.
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Nifty piece of work, too.
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00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,315
I tried it out last month
and we apparently
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00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:45,651
experienced 16 feet of rain.
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00:04:47,021 --> 00:04:49,354
There's no need for you
to insult my rain gauge.
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00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:50,822
Meteorology happens to be
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a very fascinating
branch of science.
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00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,560
So is taxidermy.
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Which brings me to
my next suggestion..
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...let's stuff Lucky.
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00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:02,834
Let's not.
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00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:05,671
I think I'll work on
my science project alone.
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00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:07,172
Thanks, anyway.
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00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,910
Now, you see,
you see what happens
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00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:14,012
when you're a butt-inski?
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00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,648
Well, perhaps,
if the TV were working
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I wouldn't be a butt-inski.
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00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:21,753
I doubt that.
Nice try, though.
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00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,325
Mind if I read
over your shoulder?
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00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,231
[instrumental music]
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00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,105
TV is still on
the fritz, I see.
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00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:42,507
Still broken,
if that's what you mean.
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00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,975
Here's a petition
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00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,545
signed by every
member of this family.
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00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,782
It states that by hurting me
you're hurting others..
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00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:53,251
...and ultimately,
hurting yourself.
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ALF, you signed
all these names.
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00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:02,828
Yes, by proxy.
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00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,634
That's your copy anyway.
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00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,169
The original is notarized
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00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,472
and on the way
to my attorney.
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Formally your attorney.
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00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:17,943
Oh, ALF, I already said
you could use
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the portable TV in the bedroom.
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It's too small.
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It makes everyone
look like Danny DeVito.
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Well, for your information
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I'm sending the TV
back to the factory.
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The factory? Why don't you
just call a repairman?
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00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:35,894
Because it's still
under warranty.
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00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,429
Well, how long
is it gonna take?
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- Where is the factory?
- The factory is in...Libya.
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00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:47,839
Libya? Is that
near Bakersfield?
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00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,941
It's closer to Egypt.
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Apparently the guarantee
is void
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unless the work is performed
at "Moamar Electronics."
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And I have to pay
the shipping cost.
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00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,890
But, honey, wh-what kinda
guarantee is that?
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I'd say a bad one.
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Alright, I didn't, I didn't
read the fine print, alright?
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This looks like a job for..
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¶ Eh-eh-eh ¶
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...Consumer Ed.
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00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,937
- Consumer Ed?
- Yeah.
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00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,238
The guy on the news
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00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,774
who fights for people
being ripped off.
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00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,610
Last week, he helped
a woman in Oxnard
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sue a soup company
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00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:30,415
after she found a mouse head
in her minestrone.
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ALF!
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The company said
it was a garbanzo bean.
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ALF, please.
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00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,557
It turned out to be a finger.
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00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,761
- Excuse me.
- What's wrong?
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Consumer Ed got the lady
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a year's supply
of free minestrone.
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00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,433
Enough.
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00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:51,837
- I'll give the guy a call.
- Just stay out of this.
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Come on, Brian.
Show them.
138
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Look at Brian's science project.
It's really good.
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And I made it
without any help.
140
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Hey, nice job.
141
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,248
What is it?
Street lights?
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00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,651
I thought they called you
"Mr. Science"?
143
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,653
It's a molecule.
144
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,489
It's the solar system.
145
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,757
It's the solar system.
146
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:15,827
- Whose solar system?
- Ours.
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00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,330
You forgot the
two planets next to Pluto.
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00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:21,266
Let me guess..
Mickey and Donald?
149
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:25,904
Oh, sure, turn it
into a travesty.
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00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,873
Their names are
Dave and Alvin.
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00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,776
- Really?
- No, Brian, ALF's only kidding.
152
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:33,411
I'm not kidding.
153
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:36,348
I almost hit Alvin
on my approach to Earth.
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It's a sharp turn.
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00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,652
Where'd they be on here?
156
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:43,455
Brian, they're not on here.
They're not anywhere.
157
00:08:43,457 --> 00:08:45,290
ALF, tell him the truth.
158
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:48,627
The truth is, Brian,
they're right over here.
159
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,831
ALF, I think if there were
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00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,867
two planets
named Dave and Alvin
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00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,769
I would have read about them.
162
00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,237
You could have missed it.
163
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:02,607
After all, you let that
Moamar Electronics thing
164
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,643
slip by.
165
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,378
Dad, can I add Alvin and Dave?
166
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,247
No, I don't think
that's a good idea.
167
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:12,951
But if you don't add them
you're perpetuating lies!
168
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,220
I mean, what if
Galileo had listened
169
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,890
when they told him he couldn't
sail around the world?
170
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,593
Galileo didn't sail
around the world.
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00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,395
Oh, like you were there.
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00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,599
ALF, if Brian adds those planets
they'll laugh him
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00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:30,669
right out of school.
Nobody will believe him.
174
00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:33,838
Even if it is true.
175
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,274
Even if it is true?
176
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,276
That does it. I quit.
177
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,712
- You quit what?
- I don't know yet.
178
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:44,616
But when I do just try to talk
me out of it. Ha!
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00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,721
Brian, your project's
very good, very, very good.
180
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:52,157
Just like it is. Okay?
181
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,793
I hope so.
182
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:57,128
[instrumental music]
183
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:03,268
Hello?
Yeah, Bob's Smoke Shop?
184
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,471
Do you have
Prince Albert in a can?
185
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,407
No?
186
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:12,444
Well, can you tell me who does?
187
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,879
Uh-huh. I see.
188
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:16,548
Yeah. Thanks.
189
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:20,151
This isn't as much fun
as I heard.
190
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,189
Hey, B, how was school today?
191
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:26,491
I failed my science project.
192
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,828
You should've added
Alvin and Dave, like I said.
193
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,631
- I did.
- And you still failed?
194
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,965
That's why I failed.
195
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,067
I added them
because I believed you
196
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,069
but all my friends
laughed at me.
197
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,504
They did?
198
00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:41,406
Now, my teacher won't
even let my project
199
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,642
be in the science carnival.
200
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:45,510
And it's all your fault.
201
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,379
My fault?
202
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:51,116
You lied to me. There really
aren't 11 planets, are there?
203
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,585
Yes, there are.
Brian?
204
00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:56,321
Your teacher is the one
who needs an education.
205
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,624
Now I'm mad.
206
00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:01,760
I'm mad! I'm mad.
207
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:08,199
Hello, information?
Get me Brian's teacher.
208
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,434
Oh, wait a minute.
No, uh..
209
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:12,470
Get me
the Franklin Elementary School.
210
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:16,174
Yes, I know it's cheaper
to use a directory
211
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:19,077
but I don't have any thumbs!
212
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,945
Well, you should be sorry!
213
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,814
[instrumental music]
214
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,385
[instrumental music]
215
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,191
Where is everybody?
216
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,927
Oh, they've..
They've gone to the movies.
217
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:40,365
- Well, why didn't you go?
- I'm fixing the TV.
218
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,000
Now?
219
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,102
Yes.
220
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,437
I'm going out
a little later
221
00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:47,305
and I decided it's dangerous
222
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,641
to leave you alone
with nothing to do.
223
00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:53,812
Are you referring to
that chemical spill?
224
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,714
Chemical spill?
225
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,182
What chemical spill?
226
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,250
Nothing.
227
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,453
Hey, Willie, how about a game
of Trivial Pursuit?
228
00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:04,355
I promise not to pick
any science questions.
229
00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:06,825
No, thanks.
230
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:11,329
I think you should leave this
for a qualified repairman.
231
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:15,667
- Well, Mr. Smarty..
- It's Mr. Science.
232
00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:19,437
For your information
I've-I've located the problem.
233
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:24,776
There's no power going into
the high-voltage transformer.
234
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:28,079
- Hey, you want power?
- 'That would help.'
235
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,714
Your call.
236
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,318
[crackling]
237
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:38,223
Willie, it was an accident.
238
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,024
An accident?
239
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:44,262
An accident?
You almost killed me!
240
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,798
And you say
it was an accident?
241
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,869
Alright, let's call it
a mistake.
242
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,170
[doorbell dings]
243
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,906
You wanna get that?
It's probably Consumer Ed.
244
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:59,644
You called Consumer Ed
after I asked you not to?
245
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:03,348
You didn't say, "Not to."
You said, "Stay out of this."
246
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,984
You should've been
more specific.
247
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,419
I hope it is Consumer Ed
248
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:11,356
because I'm turning
you over to 'em.
249
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:15,627
Won't that be a great story
for the 6 o'clock news?
250
00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,297
I think I left the oven on.
251
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:21,599
Yeah?
252
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:22,834
[gasps]
253
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,004
Mr. Tanner?
254
00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,705
Yeah?
255
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:30,341
I'm Mrs. Lyman,
Brian's principal.
256
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:33,344
Oh, hi, hi..
257
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,814
Well, come in, won't you?
Please come in.
258
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:40,885
Uh...am I interrupting
something?
259
00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:42,787
No, no.
260
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,523
Well, I'm -I'm sorry
to drop in on you like this
261
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,792
but your house
is on my way home
262
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:50,395
and I did want to clear up
that little misunderstanding
263
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,664
between you and Ms. Larva.
264
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:55,033
Ms. Larva?
265
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,835
Brian's teacher.
266
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,304
Oh, Ms. Larva.
267
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,506
You called her
this afternoon.
268
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:05,677
No, I'm sorry, I didn't call
Miss...Larva this afternoon.
269
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,178
No.
270
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,947
Is Mrs. Tanner home?
271
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,682
No, no, I'm alone here.
272
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,718
Gee, th-that's odd.
273
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,854
I-I thought I heard you
yelling at someone
274
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:18,189
just before I rang
the doorbell.
275
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,391
Oh, that was
probably the TV.
276
00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:26,598
I don't mean
actually the TV.
277
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,334
I was yelling at the TV
because it's broken.
278
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:33,037
I-I-I always yell
at the TV when it's broken.
279
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,505
[laughing]
280
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:37,642
We could talk
some other time.
281
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,611
- Maybe with a social worker.
- No! I mean.
282
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:41,679
[clears throat]
No, no, please, no.
283
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:44,649
Come in, won't you? Sit down.
Please, let's-let's talk.
284
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,651
Ah, this is about
my phone call, isn't it?
285
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,087
Sit, sit.
I-I remember now.
286
00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,822
Of course, I remember.
287
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:55,493
[clears throat]
What did I say?
288
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,896
You don't remember?
289
00:14:57,898 --> 00:15:00,031
I don't. Forgive me.
Please, forgive me.
290
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,933
My head just exploded.
291
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:06,337
I mean, the TV exploded
and it was on my head.
292
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,975
Well, you threatened
to remove Brian from school
293
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:13,544
you questioned
the credentials of his teacher
294
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,346
and you refused
to ask him to remove
295
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,682
the two extra planets
from his project.
296
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:21,119
The two extra planets?
297
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:25,924
Yes. On one of which you
stopped to use the rest room.
298
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,195
Could you excuse me,
just for a moment?
299
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:32,797
Oh, certainly.
300
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,043
What do you think?
301
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,748
I'll get..
302
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,385
I'll get right
to the point.
303
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:56,587
You told Brian to add
those two planets
304
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:57,722
to his model, didn't you?
305
00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,024
No, I didn't.
He did it on his own.
306
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,259
Didn't you..
307
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:04,028
Well, I'll admit
I was indirectly involved.
308
00:16:04,030 --> 00:16:08,132
It was wrong of you
to be involved at all.
309
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,934
But I took care of it.
310
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,770
I called his teacher
and set her straight.
311
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,039
So I heard.
Now the principal is here.
312
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:19,177
And it's all because of these
ridiculous stories of yours.
313
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,179
Ridiculous? Ha!
314
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,513
You're gonna feel
a little silly.
315
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:23,848
when I tell you this
316
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:27,485
but I called the
Mount Palomar Observatory today
317
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:31,456
and they have no knowledge
of the planet Alvin.
318
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:32,657
How surprising.
319
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:36,294
They do, however,
know of Dave.
320
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:39,397
Only, they call him Chiron.
321
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,466
Chiron?
322
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,835
Object Kowal?
323
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:46,437
Willie?
Willie, snap out of it.
324
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:49,640
No, ALF,
ALF, in the late '70s
325
00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,743
an object was spotted in space
326
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:55,013
uh, originally called
Object Kowal.
327
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:57,081
It was later named Chiron.
328
00:16:57,083 --> 00:17:00,718
And the astronomers thought
that could be a tenth planet
329
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,621
just somewhere,
just beyond Pluto.
330
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:06,424
Somewhere?
I'll show you exactly where.
331
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:08,393
Wh-what's this?
332
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,728
"Rand McNally,
guide to the stars."
333
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,531
I keep it
in my glove compartment.
334
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,534
This..
This is incredible!
335
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:19,070
You-you have a guide
to the galaxy.
336
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,671
Well, it's three years old.
337
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:23,674
A few of the stars
have exploded.
338
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:27,145
Now let's see, uh,
Dave, uh.. Dave, G6.
339
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:31,916
"Mileage between cities?"
Melmac, San Francisco..
340
00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,885
Oh, here it is..
Dave. Right here.
341
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:36,788
- Dave?
- And there's Alvin.
342
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,957
Wh-what's that little one?
343
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:41,826
"Alvin Heights."
344
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:45,229
ALF, you weren't
making this up.
345
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,965
I.. I owe you an apology.
346
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,437
I'm waiting.
347
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,672
So is Mrs. Lyman.
348
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,042
Oh, say, could I get
you anything?
349
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,677
No, no, I'm-I'm fine.
350
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,747
Oh, oh, wax lips.
351
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,820
- I have two questions for you.
- Yeah.
352
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:11,355
First, can I have
my lips back?
353
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:13,558
- Oh..
- Thanks.
354
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,393
And second,
are you gonna tell her
355
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:18,162
the truth about the planets?
356
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,630
I don't think I can.
357
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,400
Why not?
Show her the map.
358
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,969
Oh, good idea,
and when she asks us
359
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,872
where we got it,
then where will we be?
360
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:30,775
Alright, alright.
So you can't show her the map.
361
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:34,912
But just because you don't have
any proof that ends it?
362
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,515
I mean,
what's with this planet?
363
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,218
Here's a chance
to open people's minds.
364
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:44,188
Where are the free thinkers?
The dreamers?
365
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,491
I-I don't know.
366
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,994
But apparently not
in Brian's school.
367
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,697
I-I'm afraid I'm-I'm just
gonna have to go out there
368
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,766
and tell her this has all been
a big mistake.
369
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,635
In other words
you're gonna lie.
370
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:03,608
- Oh, hi.
- Is everything alright?
371
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,009
Yes, yes, I'm-I'm sorry
372
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,911
to have kept you
waiting so long.
373
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,280
Uh, Mrs. Lyman,
this whole thing has been
374
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:12,717
a terrible misunderstanding.
375
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,186
I'm so sorry
that this all happened.
376
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:19,423
So am I. We've never had
any problems with Brian before.
377
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:20,691
It's just that
this sort of thing
378
00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:23,361
upsets Ms. Larva very much.
379
00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:27,932
Mrs. Lyman, what if we just
displayed the project as it is?
380
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:31,135
Mr. Tanner, we can't
display a solar system
381
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,604
with two planets
named Dave and Alvin.
382
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,207
It would make a circus
out of our carnival.
383
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,776
Well, we wouldn't
wanna disgrace the clowns.
384
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:44,415
Look, I'm sure Ms. Larva
would be willing
385
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:45,917
to meet you halfway.
386
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:47,485
If Brian removed
the extra planets
387
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,654
I'm sure she would let him
compete with his classmates
388
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:52,190
and there'd be no harm done.
389
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,892
Yes, yes, there would be.
390
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:58,963
I..
I can't ask him to do that.
391
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,799
Then I can't ask my teacher
to change her policy.
392
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:05,036
- Oh, sure you could.
- Alright, I could.
393
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,170
But I won't.
394
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:09,607
Wait a minute, Mrs. Lyman,
you're an educator.
395
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:11,275
Surely there's room
in our system
396
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:13,844
for, for free thinking?
397
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,613
I mean, where would
science be
398
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,215
if there weren't dreamers?
399
00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:19,083
Would-would the Wright Brothers
have flown?
400
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:22,053
Would-would Galileo have
sailed around the world?
401
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,222
Galileo?
402
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,556
Oh, never mind.
403
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,091
[doorbell dings]
404
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,061
- Mr. William Tanner?
- Yes.
405
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,063
Consumer Ed Boganski.
Nice to meet you.
406
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,731
Let's start with a wide shot
of the whole room.
407
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,833
- No, no, wait.
- Look at that set.
408
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,069
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Look at that.
409
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:40,871
- We'll take care of it..
- No.
410
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:45,209
Hello, I'm at the home
of Mr. William Tanner
411
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:48,246
who in a desperate
attempt to fight City Hall
412
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:51,148
has summoned me, Consumer Ed,
to be in his corner.
413
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,750
Stop! Stop!
414
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,720
(Consumer Ed)
Take it easy. This will only
take a minute.
415
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,089
There was no need to involve
the media in this dispute.
416
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:01,359
Dispute? Dispute? Ma'am, why
don't you give us your side--
417
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:02,560
No, please, let's..
418
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,362
There's really
nothing to talk about.
419
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,667
Willie, wh-what's going on?
420
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:12,103
Oh, uh, nothing.
They were just leaving.
421
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,272
- Is this your family?
- That's Consumer Ed.
422
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:16,240
Could we just
stop for a minute?
423
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:18,409
You shouldn't have called me
if you didn't wanna talk
424
00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,011
about your television.
425
00:21:20,013 --> 00:21:22,913
This is not about
the TV, Mr. Ed.
426
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:24,915
This is about
the extra planets.
427
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,651
What extra planets?
428
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:31,622
The two his son claims
exist beyond Pluto.
429
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,424
They do exist.
430
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:35,826
I mean,
who's to say they don't?
431
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:37,328
Is that your son?
432
00:21:38,231 --> 00:21:39,297
- No!
- 'Dad!'
433
00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:41,432
I mean, yes, yes.
Of course, he is.
434
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:43,200
Sid, get a shot
of the kid here.
435
00:21:43,202 --> 00:21:45,970
- Are you putting this on TV?
- No, Brian.
436
00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:48,239
This is great
human interest stuff.
437
00:21:48,241 --> 00:21:51,575
- Please continue, Mr. Tanner.
- Oh, he has nothing to say.
438
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:53,010
Yes, I do.
439
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,745
My son Brian,
entered a project
440
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,614
in a school
science carnival.
441
00:21:56,616 --> 00:21:58,316
Is that like
a science fair?
442
00:21:58,318 --> 00:21:59,717
Well, this has clowns.
443
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:02,520
But the school wouldn't
allow the project
444
00:22:02,522 --> 00:22:04,121
to be displayed without..
445
00:22:04,123 --> 00:22:06,357
Without proper credit
to the imagination
446
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,159
of Brian Tanner.
447
00:22:08,161 --> 00:22:09,260
Excuse me?
448
00:22:09,262 --> 00:22:10,995
I'm Brian's principal
and I wanna say
449
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:13,664
that this is what our science
carnival is all about.
450
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,333
- Free thinking!
- It is?
451
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,667
It is now.
452
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:18,936
Not to display
Brian's project
453
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:20,604
would be close-minded.
454
00:22:20,606 --> 00:22:23,074
Does this mean
I can enter my project?
455
00:22:23,076 --> 00:22:24,342
Absolutely.
456
00:22:24,344 --> 00:22:27,345
We encourage open-mindedness
in all of our students.
457
00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:29,747
After all, where would
science be today
458
00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:31,615
if it weren't
for free thinking?
459
00:22:31,617 --> 00:22:34,885
For the dreamers!
Right, Bri?
460
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,756
[instrumental music]
461
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:47,264
Oh, hurry up, Willie, Brian's
science story is coming on next.
462
00:22:47,266 --> 00:22:50,000
Say, I was just going over
the phone bill and I found--
463
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:53,571
Save it for later, Willie.
This is Brian's moment.
464
00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:58,909
Do you know someone made
a two-hour phone call to Libya?
465
00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:00,678
That might have been me.
466
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,748
Consumer Ed set up
the call to the factory.
467
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:07,017
This was a $300 phone call!
468
00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:10,354
Hey, I got you
a new TV out of it, didn't I?
469
00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:14,091
I didn't pay $300
for the first one!
470
00:23:14,093 --> 00:23:16,360
Which is exactly why it broke.
471
00:23:16,362 --> 00:23:18,863
Shh! Brian's story is on.
Turn it up.
472
00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:21,298
(Consumer Ed on TV)
'I'd like to step out of the
consumer corner for a minute'
473
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,067
'and share with you
an interesting story'
474
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,403
'I recently stumbled upon.'
475
00:23:25,405 --> 00:23:27,071
Look, there's my school!
476
00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:28,906
(Consumer Ed)
'I'm standing
in the auditorium'
477
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,441
'of the Franklin
Elementary School'
478
00:23:30,443 --> 00:23:31,709
'where an annual event called a'
479
00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:33,477
'Science Carnival takes place.'
480
00:23:33,479 --> 00:23:34,678
[horn squeaks]
481
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,347
'Move it, clown!'
482
00:23:36,349 --> 00:23:38,849
'What makes this
year's event so unusual'
483
00:23:38,851 --> 00:23:40,584
'besides the clowns'
484
00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:41,786
'is a new category called'
485
00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:43,521
'"The World of Ideas" where..'
486
00:23:43,523 --> 00:23:45,523
[crackling]
487
00:23:46,993 --> 00:23:49,193
[instrumental music]
488
00:23:55,268 --> 00:23:58,269
[theme music]
489
00:24:16,022 --> 00:24:19,223
[music continues]
490
00:24:21,861 --> 00:24:23,861
[ALF laughing]